I've been wanting to write this post but haven't had a good moment to sit down and really think about it. However, the 3 month mark is slowly getting away from me so time must be made! These thoughts may or may not be totally coherent, but here are some reflections from my 365 project at this point.
I've never gotten this far into a 365 project before so I'm feeling proud of that feat. At the same time, it hasn't felt like a chore this time around. I enjoy it. Some days I don't have a lot of time but I still want to make something. That said, there have definitely been awkward bouts where I don't know what to make or just feel kind of lost. Part of that may be that I'm bouncing from subject to subject and part if it may be that I'm just busy in general so it's hard to sit down and feign the necessary mental energy to be creative. Above and below are some examples of days when I just didn't know what I wanted to create, so I either did a random noun generator online, asked for suggestions, or just sat down and started making marks to see what it would develop into.
I've been feeling like within the past several years my creativity has dropped, but I think it's just being manifested in a different way. Still, I would like to work myself back to the point of having a totally free flowing imagination. It used to feel so limitless and now it feels like I have to reach for it. That's something I'm hoping this project will help with, but as I mentioned above, I think being so busy makes it harder so I need to tackle it from that front too.
This week started The 100 Day Project, which seems to really have taken off this year, and I'm glad to have come across it. When I first searched the hashtag a week or so ago there were about 7,000 posts and now there are over 20,000. I love these kinds of instagram community projects because it's easy to find other artists and it's fun to support one another through the process. As for theme, I'm still not 100% sure if I'll stick with ONE theme through the 100 days (aside from the theme that everything is being made in my sketchbook). So far I've been practicing life drawing in payne's gray watercolor since my sister is here (easy access to a model). Life drawing is something I'm not well versed in at all, but I think it's really fun and I'd like to do it more. My other consideration was to do 100 days of silly animal illustrations, which was actually my previous attempt at a 365 project. I wish it felt easier to commit to one idea for 100 days, I mean... it's just 100 days.
For the past few weeks I've been having a strong push and pull in my mind on several fronts and just recently had a small epiphany that I need to return to the idea that not everything is black and white. Things can (must, do, will) exist along side one another. There is so much pressure to choose and label and be clear on everything, but the reality is that that's not the way it usually works. I find it so hard to accept the discomfort of being unsure and feeling in limbo, but I do have faith that flexibility and forward movement will bring back some clarity. So, previous 365 projects have been hard from a habit-of-doing-it standpoint, and this one has been more of a mental challenge so far, but both of those things are are important to conquer. Even though it hasn't been rainbows and pancakes 100% of the time, I've never felt like I wanted to quit or shy away from it. It kind of feels like a riddle that you just can't walk away from. I want to keep going. I want to figure it out. I feel like I'm about to level up in a big way and there will be many small steps to get there, but once I do a whole new plane will open up and it's going to feel so exciting.